Interviewing living family members is an investment
It's true, it's one of your most valuable resources in your research for ancestors. You'll see throughout this site that we strongly recommend talking to your living relatives as one of the first steps in your research. Not only can the older members of your family fill you in on names and dates for those who may now have passed on, but they can also bring the information to life with fascinating accounts of there history.
In fact it's not only new researchers who can benefit from speaking to relatives. Any time you turn down a new avenue in your studies.It's well worth sharing it with others, who may have a different take on things, or even suggest ideas you hadn't thought of.
Sometimes, an informal chat is all that's required. However. to benefit from there reminiscing you really need to do things properly. First you need to decide on a setting. Often, the best place to
interview someone is in their own
home, where they'll feel more comfortable.
This applies particularly if you don't know the relative that well or they are the nervous type especially if the feel an interrogation is on its way!
Also think about how you're going
to record their answers, You may
think that a notebook and pen will
be sufficient, but you'll be surprised
how difficult it can be to keep pace
with someone once they get talking.
A better idea is to buy a dictaphone or an MP3 recorder (sometimes available on your phone)
which will allow you to relax and
concentrate on what's being said, and
will let you re listen to the responses to check that you heard correctly.
Don't forget your kids. Get them involved as much as you can, especially when talking to older relatives about your family and its history. Children love to learn about how life was in the 'olden days', and talking about long lost relatives will be satisfying for everyone involved.
A few more steps to a good interview:
1. Prepared Questions
Before you meet up have a list of questions you would like to ask. Use this as a tick list at the end, thereby, just before i go can i just check i haven't missed any important questions, and then just run trough them again.
2. Take collected items
Take with you the photos and certificates you've already collected as this will provide fodder for the memory and jog any lost memories for discussion with the relative
3. Put everyone at ease
Don't go in for heavy interrogation from the start, but chat lightly to make everyone feel comfortable. Try and keep the conversation natural and it will provide a much easier atmosphere for important memories to come to the fore. With open questions and good eye contact the relatives should feel comfortable to share information with you.
4. Set expectations to a sensible level
You may not get every detail you want as the relative may not remember or even have the same importance associated with the event. You could find out though where it fits into the dates you do know like before or after they were married etc
5. Take good notes and write them up immediately
With a recording and good notes, you should find it easy to write a transcription of the interview. Don't procrastinate as you may find that your own memory starts to fade!
6. Bonus questions
Wants some questions to get the conversation going? Here are the top 50 questions to ask...
- What is your full name? Why did your parents select this name for you? Did you have a nickname?
- When and where were you born?
- How did your family come to live there?
- Were there other family members in the area? Who?
- What was the house (apartment, farm, etc.) like? How many rooms? Bathrooms? Did it have electricity? Indoor plumbing? Telephones?
- Were there any special items in the house that you remember?
- What is your earliest childhood memory?
- Describe the personalities of your family members.
- What kind of games did you play growing up?
- What was your favorite toy and why?
- What was your favorite thing to do for fun (movies, beach, etc.)?
- Did you have family chores? What were they? Which was your least favorite?
- Did you receive an allowance? How much? Did you save your money or spend it?
- What was school like for you as a child? What were your best and worst subjects? Where did you attend grade school? High school? College?
- What school activities and sports did you participate in?
- Do you remember any fads from your youth? Popular hairstyles? Clothes?
- Who were your childhood heroes?
- What were your favorite songs and music?
- Did you have any pets? If so, what kind and what were their names?
- What was your religion growing up? What church, if any, did you attend?
- Were you ever mentioned in a newspaper?
- Who were your friends when you were growing up?
- What world events had the most impact on you while you were growing up? Did any of them personally affect your family?
- Describe a typical family dinner. Did you all eat together as a family? Who did the cooking? What were your favorite foods?
- How were holidays (birthdays, Christmas, etc.) celebrated in your family? Did your family have special traditions?
- How is the world today different from what it was like when you were a child?
- Who was the oldest relative you remember as a child? What do you remember about them?
- What do you know about your family surname?
- Is there a naming tradition in your family, such as always giving the firstborn son the name of his paternal grandfather?
- What stories have come down to you about your parents? Grandparents? More distant ancestors?
- Are there any stories about famous or infamous relatives in your family?
- Have any recipes been passed down to you from family members?
- Are there any physical characteristics that run in your family?
- Are there any special heirlooms, photos, bibles or other memorabilia that have been passed down in your family?
- What was the full name of your spouse? Siblings? Parents?
- When and how did you meet your spouse? What did you do on dates?
- What was it like when you proposed (or were proposed to)? Where and when did it happen? How did you feel?
- Where and when did you get married?
- What memory stands out the most from your wedding day?
- How would you describe your spouse? What do (did) you admire most about them?
- What do you believe is the key to a successful marriage?
- How did you find out your were going to be a parent for the first time?
- Why did you choose your children's names?
- What was your proudest moment as a parent?
- What did your family enjoy doing together?
- What was your profession and how did you choose it?
- If you could have had any other profession what would it have been? Why wasn't it your first choice?
- Of all the things you learned from your parents, which do you feel was the most valuable?
- What accomplishments were you the most proud of?
- What is the one thing you most want people to remember about you?
In conclusion, interviewing living relatives is a very useful resource that may uncover a huge amount of areas in your ancestry search. But it will always benefit from a little effort and preparation, so do follow our suggestions above.
